First-time mother: Oh my god, you woke up while I was in the shower and I didn’t notice! We missed out on precious bonding time!
Second-time mother: Oh my god, you woke up while I was in the shower and didn’t scream your head off! Well done!
***
FTM: I know exactly what your first food will be: ripe avocado lovingly pureed with breast milk (but not before you’re six months old).
STM: I know exactly what your first food will be: Something your big brother drops on the floor while my back is turned (but not before you can bring your hand to your mouth on purpose).
***
FTM: Time for your fourth tummy time session of the day! I can’t wait until you learn to roll over.
STM: I love how you stay exactly where I put you without getting into trouble. Keep it up!
***
FTM: I will breastfeed you exclusively for six months and then as a supplement to solid foods until age one, minimum.
STM: I will breastfeed you exclusively for precisely as long as pumping whenever we’re apart seems easier than going downstairs during the night to fix you a bottle.
***
FTM: Diapers, wipes, blanket, extra outfit--I can’t believe how much gear I need to lug around everywhere now.
STM: Wait, you don’t need me to tote along three toys, four different snacks, a sippy cup, and a spare sippy cup in case the color of the first sippy cup is somehow mysteriously abhorrent? This is a piece of cake!
***
FTM: You just smiled at me! Nobody has ever done anything so amazing. I will love you forever.
STM: You just smiled at me! Nobody has ever done anything so amazing. I will love you forever.