The statement that caused me the most grief in 2016—at least before November 9—was, without a doubt, the following:
Breastfeeding is free and easy!
Now, there is much to be said in support of breastfeeding. It is a great way of feeding babies and should be normalized and supported. But free and easy? Only if you don’t value women’s work and desires. Let me fix the claim:
If you plan on spending nearly all your time with your baby, and if you are able to nurse directly without pumping, breastfeeding will save you from washing several bottles each day and spending roughly $50-200 per month on infant formula.
In exchange for these benefits, there are many downsides to breastfeeding. Nursing mothers cannot take certain medications ranging from antidepressants to decongestants. They constantly evaluate their intake of food and drink—especially caffeine and alcohol, but also dairy or other allergens for babies with sensitive stomachs—relative to their babies’ needs. If they are separated from their babies, they must express breast milk every few hours—which is so time-consuming and logistically demanding that every potential outing must be rigorously planned in advance and is often deemed “not worth it.” The work of maintaining the nursing relationship constrains these women’s ability to work, to socialize, to study, to engage in politics, to care for older children or other family members, and to practice all the other activities that make up a full human life.
Breastfeeding can be a wonderful, meaningful element of parenting. But it is work, hard work, that profoundly constrains a nursing mother’s activities and that sets the stage for persistently unequal distribution of the work of caring for children. To pretend otherwise is to devalue the work of women.